Its been a while since I touched this website. The more I look at it, the more it reminds me of a dozen abandoned "projects" and "things" I have in my life. Unfinished, neglected, and forgetten. Not much has changed since I first started this blog, I find myself distracted so much, I forget to do the things I need or want to do. I just I could just get up, stop watching Youtube, going on Discord, and playing games and get real tangible things done. That doesn't mean am completely lazy; I do actually do work, but it feels like I do it at a much slower pace than I would like. I start too many things, but never finish any of it. I watched many Youtube Videos talk about this... They say its a discpline issue, that its not my motivation, or anything else I blame. But, does that really apply to me? I can't trust anything on the internet anymore, nothing feels real anymore, or is just another pessimastic side of the world on my Feed. Life has been going too fast pace for me, and I feel like am watching the rest the world through a window. Trapped inside a room of my own making. I sit here and watch everything, waiting, waiting for the next large event, the next big thing, the next catastrophe. But everything else inside that room has barely changed. Everything happens outside, but never inside. Am I really experiencing life, or is the window just an illusion? I don't know. Because I don't know how to leave the room. This is a bit longer than my usual blog post, and feels more like sharing my feelings. But I thought i'd try something new.